Kris goes next friday to get his blood work done to see if his testosterone levels are back up. Im optimistic but since he hasnt felt better at all physically, I dont know if there will be a change, but Im really hoping there is. Its his 5th week now. Some people are saying they noticed a change with in a week or so, but so far we havent seen a change. Kris still feels real crappy. Luckly we found out his insurance paid for his visit and his sperm analysis. YAY thats a big help. I still have to pay 242 dollars a month for his SHOTS. But Im looking for other pharmacies that are cheaper. I went to the library today and got a whole bunch of infertility books. So ive started reading them. I cant wait to get this all behind us. This has been the worst year ever. Kris's health, infertility, job searching,finances... ALL at once, Its so stressful. Through all of this, Im so glad We have gotten closer and it hasnt brought us apart. Ive really been sad this past week, Im ok with waiting for a baby, even though it sucks and I want to be a mommy bad, but im sad because i want Kristopher back. I want him to be happy and healthy again. When I dont get any hours at work and I have time to sit at home.. I lay on the couch and CRY and have a little pity party. But its so hard When you know you cant do anything to help... Ive avoided talking to friends bc All i do is complain and be negative and sound so depressed but i cant help it... and I dont want my friends to get aggrevated with me for being such a debbie downer.I know good friends wouldnt mind, but I dont have alot of those, and even the good ones dont understand so its hard for them to really get me. I cant really talk to family because they say the most insane things that doesnt help me at all. ugh I did buy kris some mens multivitamins and B12 pills. He takes them every morning. YAY, the Dr said that could help. Hopefully We will be ok, Hopefully everything will work out.
Ive been on my praying knees alot.
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