1 day left of school! Im so ready to get this past me. Its going to be a sad day.. happy but sad that some of the girls ive spent the last two years with will not be by myside forever, not every single day atleast. So many memories and fun times that will always be remembered.
Its been a horrible month. But i trust gods reasoning and know he has so much planned for me in the future. Im so thankful for what i do have, a great husband and supportive family. I couldnt ask for more. I know everything happens for a reason and i know it will all work out.
but can i cry for a really long time and have a lauren pity party? YOU DAMN RIGHT I CAN!
8.06.2010
Hate this Feeling
I have friends, Some im real close too and can talk to them about anything . But have you ever felt like even if you have friends, family and a husband, that sometimes you feel SO alone. I feel like i just need to scream. I need to let so much out and CRY, which i will admit, im an emotional wreck at times. But this time, i just cant cry. I want too, it will make it all better. The tears come, but it doesnt come.
This is not a good feeling. Hoping it will pass soon
This is not a good feeling. Hoping it will pass soon
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.......
So, what a week. First things first, 2 more weeks and i will be done with school. Graduation is almost here. I have been studying so hard for the registry and have faith in myself that i will pass. I am so glad to be done with this chapter in my life.
This week hasnt been the best of weeks, obviously im not going to go into detail, But i do want to say that i really hate when people judge. I hate even more when people make up lies and try to hurt you. I know in the long run karma will see them one day, but it still sickens me that people really try and bring you down. I have no clue why people would hear one side of a story but not want to hear another side. How is this fair? How can you base an opinion off of someones unreliable story, politics are not my friend! I know God has a plan for me and i will succeed anywhere i go, just makes me mad that so many people are rooting for me, and one person can change one single opinion. Through all of this, I will become a stronger person and I know one day i will be able to forgive, but right now... its like a butcher knife to my back. I have been true these two years, ive been myself and havent changed, ive been a good loyal friend to many, and even stuck up for people when no one had there back... but it only seems to bite me in the ass. Was I suppose to change to be someone im not?.. because i will go through this a million times and not change for anyone. I learn from my mistakes but i will always be ME. Ive gone through alot in my life and know with every decision ive made and every painful memory growing up that i am a good person and I deserve a chance without someone judging me. Just know this: You never know what someone has been through or what is going on in there life, you cant base your opinion on hear say or what does that say for yourself? God will see me through and I know i will look back on this and wonder why i cared so much when this is just a chapter closing. But right now... I care... right now, Im disappointed in the system.
This week hasnt been the best of weeks, obviously im not going to go into detail, But i do want to say that i really hate when people judge. I hate even more when people make up lies and try to hurt you. I know in the long run karma will see them one day, but it still sickens me that people really try and bring you down. I have no clue why people would hear one side of a story but not want to hear another side. How is this fair? How can you base an opinion off of someones unreliable story, politics are not my friend! I know God has a plan for me and i will succeed anywhere i go, just makes me mad that so many people are rooting for me, and one person can change one single opinion. Through all of this, I will become a stronger person and I know one day i will be able to forgive, but right now... its like a butcher knife to my back. I have been true these two years, ive been myself and havent changed, ive been a good loyal friend to many, and even stuck up for people when no one had there back... but it only seems to bite me in the ass. Was I suppose to change to be someone im not?.. because i will go through this a million times and not change for anyone. I learn from my mistakes but i will always be ME. Ive gone through alot in my life and know with every decision ive made and every painful memory growing up that i am a good person and I deserve a chance without someone judging me. Just know this: You never know what someone has been through or what is going on in there life, you cant base your opinion on hear say or what does that say for yourself? God will see me through and I know i will look back on this and wonder why i cared so much when this is just a chapter closing. But right now... I care... right now, Im disappointed in the system.
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