Bad days are just getting started

So today, Kris leaves for work at 530am. Im stuck at home, with nothing to do. I try and sleep but I cant. my two PRN jobs dont need me at all this week. UGh but i do have a interview soon, just waiting on there call, its for fulltime. Ive been real positive lately and have been more hopeful than ever about kris's low testosterone and no sperm, but i cant stop researching online. I think i spend half my day doing this.Some good positive stories and some without any luck... I watched TV but nothing is ever on, the only thing worth watching is "A BABY STORY" on TLC and well really im tired of crying everytime i watch that. I just hate this. obviously I will get over this by tomorrow, but still today sucks. I am in such a crappy mood. So lets just say that we go to the doctor and do another Sperm analysis and it comes back nothing again, do we wait longer and see any change or do we try other things ASAP... IM SO TIRED OF WAITING. It sucks, its like my life is on hold until the next SA. everyone says you just have to wait... well its alot easier to say coming from someone who can just look at someone and get pregnant. They never had to wait. Sorry im being a shitty person right now, but it sucks, this whole thing drives me crazy, EXPECIALLY when kris calls me from work and tells me he doesnt know how much more he can take, that he feels horrible and that he feels like his body is shutting down and he said he gets so mad because no one understands and he doesnt want to feel like a sissy. With a testosterone level of 45, now up to 68, i dont blame him for feeling like that. He is so strong to even be able to get up and go to work everyday. IF i could have one wish, it wouldnt even be to have his SPERM count up, it would be for kris to feel good, and get back to his normal self, for his testosterone to atleast be 500... I feel so bad for him and feel HELPLESS. Of course i would want a baby, but he is my first priority, and plus we can do sperm extraction or even have talked about donor sperm and adoption if it ever came to that point..omg scary to even think about though. Today marks three weeks he has been on his hcg shots, and last week we did see an improvement in some areas. :) Btw i keep having dreams of babies, guess cause thats all i think about, but i had a dream 2 days ago that we adopted a little black babygirl, omg she was so beautiful.
Anyways, today is a bad day, im sure there will be many more. It sucks when no one understands......