Finding out were on Gods time...

First and for most, the registry is in 7 weeks. Just writing that makes my stomach ball up in knots. Im studying but still feel like im not getting enough studying done, SO...here comes my next stressful event. Im going to quit my night job in two weeks so i can fully concentrate on studying. So once i leave the hospital at 4:00 its home i go to study instead of that wreched call center. Yes that is a wonderful thing, but it scares me to leave my financial stability. I mean, what if i dont find a job right away after i graduate... that leads straight to my next stressor... OMG What if there are no jobs out there when i graduate. I need a job, i cant afford to NOT work. Ive been in this program for two LONG years, and worked nights and weekends these two years and cant afford to finally be done and get more into debt.... Would you like me to keep going.... OK I WILL... on top of all this.. Im depressed. Some days im fine, some days im not. Most days i fake a smile but die inside and cant wait to get to my car to just CRY! This whole baby thing has made me lose it. I mean its so tough on kris, and I tell him everything will be ok, but i die inside knowing that his jerk doctor gave him bad medicine that will make it even harder for us to concieve. We have talked about IVF and Donor and even adoption just to be prepared for the worse. Ive been on countless baby forums looking for answers only to find hardly any success stories. My family tells me to be positive and have faith. My friends say just dont think about it, and it will happen. NO it wont. they dont understand its not that easy when your husband has been diagnosed with low testosterone. Hopefully kris can go back to the doctor soon to get on new medication that will help with his testosterone and also increase sperm count. At first when his testosterone levels came back, they were so low (40) that they thought he had a tumor on his pituitary in his brain... Luckly a week later the MRI ruled that out. Thank the LORD.. They finally said his testosterone quit producing on its own because of a accident that happend when he was 16. He was hit in his temple with a baseball. caused him to have siezures and he had a brain hemmorage and was life flighted to the hospital. They said usually after a traumic brain injury, several years later people can start having effects on testosterone or others things in the body. Sucks that after all this time of waiting to have a baby that at the EXACT month we have been waiting to try was finally here and WHAAAAM... the bad news comes! Why? WHY US. We are good people. I try to stay positive thinking maybe we will be that miracle and have a baby on our own, but other days i just cry and think it will never happen. We havent been trying long, but when the doctor gives your husband meds to boost your testosterone but in return it lowers your sperm count to ZERO.. its a major bummer. I have faith but it runs out every now and then. Cant really talk to anyone because they dont quite know where your coming from, nor do they want to hear time after time how negative you are...
I just hope that what ever gods plan is, he gives me strength to make it and accept what ever he has in store for us. I am a worrier...and I cant stop worrying! I just want to find peace in knowing it will all be ok, but i cant find it. I pray on it, I cry on it, but still havent found peace.